My birthday is coming up in February, and so the Social Security Administration just mailed me my annual summary of benefits. Now, I'm going to be 37, a long time away from retiring. But this handy little mailer tells me how much I've earned every year I've worked, and what I can expect to receive if I retire at different ages.

I'm at least 28 years away from packing it in and embracing a life of leisure (as someone who gets bored very easily, I actually can't ever imagine retiring), yet every year I get this statement. Which got me to thinking.

There are 294 million people in the US (had to look that up on google). Say 60% of those people have actually contributed to social security at some time in their life and receive these little mailers around their birthday. And, say this mailer costs $1, including postage and printing and admin. We're talking 176 million pieces go out a year at a cost of 176 million dollars. Does that sound like the best use of tax dollars, sending mail to people who won't even see social security for twenty years, if at all (as politicians keep reminding us, who knows if social security will even be around when we get there).

Am I crazy to think that this is the biggest waste of money ever? I'd gladly give up my annual flyer to save the gov't money. Can I opt out of this ridiculous mailing? Well, I looked on the Internet and couldn't find the option. Imagine what $176 million could do for schools or kids. I realize that that amount is just a drop in the bucket for the government, but why hasn't anyone thought of discontinuing this idiotic mailing to people who will probably never see a dime of their contribution? And if they absolutely MUST waste tax dollars to mail us something every year, at least they could include happy birthday wishes.

In our house, Rock, Paper, Scissor is used to resolve all sorts of dilemmas. For instance, when we're sound asleep at 6am and my son is downstairs requiring a glass of orange juice. Neither my husband nor I are jumping out of bed to run downstairs to grab the Tropicana. Instead, we play a little Rock, Paper, Scissor to determine who has to pad downstairs to tend to the thirst needs of a four year old. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose.We didn't learn the value of Rock Paper Scissor in negotiations class is business school, but I know there has to be some serious game-theory behind this seemingly simplistic game.

So, when I discovered a manual called the Rock, Paper, Scissor Strategy Guide, imagine how psyched I was. Never again will I have to answer the phone, pick up toys, fold laundry or anything else I don't feel like doing. I will rule my house, defeating my husband and children at Rock, Paper, Scissor every time. And then, if I get good enough, I can even compete. In fact, I just may tune into the 2004 Rock Paper Scissors International Championship, which takes place on December 10th and will be broadcast by The Fox Sports Net. I mean, did you have any idea that Rock Paper Scissor was so powerful? And no expensive equipment, no foul weather gear, no grueling physical training. I just may have come across the perfect extracurricular activity.