What you write: For me, a great evening is one where I'm in my kitchen and enjoying a good bottle of wine. I love all kinds of food and enjoy discovering new cookbooks with unusual recipes. I don't need to go out to have fun.
What he reads: I'm a loner. I don't like to go out. I may also have an eating disorder, and/or may be using food as a psychological crutch. I'd rather sit in my kitchen drinking myself silly while I flip through cookbooks filled with recipes I'll never actually make because they require ingredients like orange zest and unsweetened cocoanut milk. I'm drinking straight from the wine bottle and have a Merlot mustache. I'm a very lonely, sad woman.

For your divorce, bargaining may take on the form of negotiating with your ex on problems and issues that previously were the ones that drove you over the edge. What may have been the most offensive and disgusting habit before, all of a sudden becomes a minor, hardly noticeable irritation. If you've initiatiated the divorce, then you may be using bargaining to mentally talk yourself out of of what it was that made you want to leave him in the first place. That extreme fighting habit that's drained your bank account, left him with eight and a half fingers and resulted in a detatched retina? Maybe it's simply his way of letting off a little steam after a long day at the office.

It's terribly tempting at this point to attempt to figure out why. Why is
this happening? Why couldn't I fix it? If you're the one deciding to leave,
you're probably asking yourself why you just couldn't force yourself to be
happy. If you're the one being left, you're probably wondering what you did
wrong. At the end of the day it doesn't change anything. Even if you could
pinpoint the exact moment your marriage ceased to live up to its promises, it
doesn't matter. Perhaps you believe that playing Columbo - identifying the date
and time of the crime - will give you a sense of control and understanding. But
if you are hunkering to solve a mystery, pick up Agatha Christie. Leave the
postmortem of your marriage alone... for now.

Sometimes it might be hard to see the glass as half full - especially when the
glass is gone because your ex has packed up your favorite stemware for his new
apartment without checking with you first. Divorce is a transition that forces
you to develop strengths, recognize weaknesses, and embrace your (sometimes
hidden) talents. Even if that talent is Academy Award-winning moments like
feigning surprise when your ex complains that he's allergic to cats - and
you just happen to have adopted a lovely long haired named Mr. Whiskers.