Wednesday, August 03, 2005

 
In September I have a signing at the Borders in downtown Boston. While this is exciting enough (mostly because I plan on getting several slices of Pizzeria Regina when I'm there), my publicist then e-mailed me the following questionnaire:
So I'm thinking, do I milk this? I just happened to see something the other day talking about the absurd demands celebrities make (not that I'm under the illusion I'm a celebrity). Things like an all-white dressing room, Egyptian cotton sheets with a thread count of at least 250, fresh ginger root and a jar of honey, and, finally, a police escort to avoid traffic, of course.

With the horrible traffic downtown Boston gets, I doubt even a police escort would make a difference, but there were a few things I did think of. Forget the special brand of pens, and the security detail. Is it sad that my requests mostly revolve around food?

Monday, August 01, 2005

 
I just returned from a week away and it feels like I've been gone for years. I love to travel, but for some reason, the trek out to LA and then to Reno was really unenjoyable. It wasn't just that my kids kept asking me if we were almost there the entire flight to LA. It wasn't that for four hours I had to keep suggesting they just close their eyes and go to sleep to make the time go by faster, or that when we landed my cell phone couldn't get a signal in the airport and I realized for the first time that I no longer owned a calling card number that would allow me to use a pay phone. Or that the person I was trying to call (the driver) was standing somewhere in LAX with a sign saying O'CONNELL while I tried to figure out how to reach his phone to let him know we had arrived. And it wasn't even so much the LA traffic, although I had to keep reciting peaceful Zen thoughts to keep from hurling the complimentary bottled water in the back seat at the cars inching up next to us.

No, the real thing that annoyed the crap out of me was the travelers who decided to pack the contents of their entire house into overstuffed suitcases, and then unloaded them on the sidewalk outside the terminal and proceeded to remove and replace the contents to avoid paying the fee when they discovered their luggage exceeded the weight maximum. One couple had three HUGE suitcases open on the sidewalk and we all had to watch as they picked through underwear, bras, and various other clothing trying to figure out if a pair of Hanes briefs would eliminate the six pounds necessary to avoid the fee.

Why was I under the illusion that people were into traveling light these days? Am I the only one who goes to great lengths to avoid having to check my luggage? Apparently, as the family with six suitcases, two strollers and a freaking Rubbermaid container wrapped in duct tape proved. Are we so desperate, and our possessions so necessary, that we've resorted to using Tupperware for luggage?

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