Friday, September 26, 2008

Sadly, I received an email today from one Ms. Sara Miller, a nationalised Briton by birth and a business merchant based in the United Kingdom. She has been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer and only has a few months to live. But lest I feel a tear come on, there is something positive coming out of this - she's chosen me, of all people, to receive $20,500,000 for safe keeping!!!!! Yep, that's 20 million dollars. And to think I don't even know her!

For some reason I've been getting tons of these generous offers:

- Mrs. Rita Wings has a client interested in pursuing a business arrangement with me which will yield me 5% of his fortune for doing absolutely nothing!!!!

- Quanzhou Machinery & Autoparts Co., Ltd., located in Xiamen city, Fujian Province of China, has decided that my "area of specialization or occupation" make me ideally suited to receive 10% commission for receiving funds on their behalf as their agent.

- Minister Jin Renqing also wants me to recieve money on his behalf - and I don't even have to be his agent!!! Take that Quanzhou Machinery & Autoparts Co., Ltd.

- Mrs Maria Elena Fernandez from the Philippines urgently awaits my response. She is also sick (just like our poor British Sara Miller), and wants to give me $7 million she has concealed in a trunk box.

Mrs. Fernandez obviously doesn't realize the offer I have on the table from Sara Miller - and Sara won't even make me hunt down a smelly old trunk to retrieve it!

And, finally, I just heard word from Mr. Patrick Chan that he has a very profitable business proposal of ($30,000,000.00) and just wants me to send him an email to his Yahoo account and we can go over the details.

Well, $30 million. I think Mr. Chan has extended the best offer of the day.

What's all this talk about financial collapse? Banking ruin? Investment peril? I've got people forking it over left and right over here. Beats a 401k anyday.

posted by J OConnell  # 1:48 PM

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